Taking Time to BREATHE

As a coach, my focus is generally on how to move ahead, what steps should we take to accomplish our goals, what commitments are we willing to make relative to the time required.  This is generally the way I have lived my life – how I have been able to accomplish the things I have accomplished.  Most of the time I did this by having support – either an individual or a group who helped me move forward – to stay committed – to look past the fear that sometimes crops up when we are making changes, however small.

Over the past several months what has really stuck home to me is how important it is to actually take a BREATH, to not just “do”, but to actually “be”.  It is only in this way that we have the opportunity to really listen to ourselves, to take a step back and be in touch with what is really going on inside.  We can actually observe from a big picture perspective just how we are really feeling, how we are showing up in the world, how people are responding to us.  It is an opportunity to stop letting our unobserved ego run the show.

The realization of just how important this is became very clear when it dawned on me how very uncomfortable it is for me to sit still – to actually not have a plan, or a to-do list that has to be completed “immediately”.    I have spent my life convinced that, without this type of frantic attention to the list, nothing would be accomplished.  Now I am seeing that having the time to just be actually helps me accomplish those things that really matter, and at the same time allow me to actually gain insight on different ways to go about what I am trying to accomplish.   It allows me to let the Universe show up for me, to really get on a deep level that I am not in this alone.

This new way of looking at how I spend my time really fits well with what coaching is all about – having support in accomplishing things that are important to us.  But, in taking time to breathe, this support expands exponentially.

 

 

 

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The Strong Interest Inventory

Along with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, the Strong Interest Inventory is one of the assessments I use a lot in my coaching practice.   The Strong is an extremely effective tool for people who want to explore what other types of careers might be a viable option for them.  It can also be used by students who are exploring options relative to the type of major they should pursue.  There is actually a recently released version of the Strong that is directed specifically to students and people who are just starting their careers.

I want to write here about the use of the Strong as a tool for people interested in career exploration, career enrichment, and career transition. The assessment is administered online, and it generally takes about 40 minutes to complete.  For many of the people with whom I have worked, taking the Strong was their first real opportunity to take a look at what might be a good fit for them in the context of their likes and dislikes.

The purpose of the Strong is to match the client up with certain careers based on the client’s interests as determined by the results of the assessment.  Research has shown that people are happiest when they work with others who have similar interests, likes and dislikes.  If you think about it, it makes a tremendous amount of sense.  The assessment does not measure aptitude or education, nor does it tell you what specifically you have to do to enter any of the recommended careers.  It is, however, an excellent starting point.

I do not believe that anyone should use the results as an absolute indication of the type of job/career they should pursue.  Other things like personal values, financial needs, and other life situations have all to be taken into account.  However, this tool, especially combined with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, gives us the real opportunity of exploring a path that just might lead us to true satisfaction with our careers and/or leisure activities.  Of course, the results should be explored with a professional who can offer you objectivity and guidance throughout the process.

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More Myers Briggs Preferences

A few weeks ago, we looked at the first two of the preferences that are considered when someone has taken the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).  Just as a quick reference, they have to do with where we get our energy (from the outer world of people and things versus the inner world of thoughts and reflections), and how we take in information (by way of the five senses versus by way of insight and intuition).  To complete the picture, I will tell you about the third and forth dichotomies:  Feeling vs. Thinking, and Judging vs. Perceiving.

The Feeling and Thinking preferences have to do with how you make decisions.  Those people who prefer the Thinking preference tend to make decisions by using logic – they make decisions with their head.  They like to analyze and critique, they tend to be firm and tough-minded, and they focus on justice and fairness.  People who prefer Feeling tend to make decisions based on personal values – they make decisions with their heart.  They seek harmony with values and others, and focus on people and relationships.  Consideration of the impact of decisions on people involved is high on their list of priorities.

The last preference, Judging vs. Perceiving, has to do with how much structure we need in the outer world.   People who prefer Judging like a definite order and structure.  They are organized and planned and like closure – in other words, they like to make decisions sooner rather than later since they like to know what is going on.  On the other hand, people who prefer Perceiving prefer a flexible life style – they adapt easily to change and like to respond in the moment.  They tend to be casual and easygoing and oftentimes finish projects at the last minute.

What makes these preferences so fastening, and at the same time challenging, is that oftentimes the way we are living our life is not really our preference, but we have been living that way for so long that it feels “natural”.  As an example, we may work in a job that requires us to work in a structured, organized way, when what we would really like to do is have more flexibility in our lives.  It is these types of questions that oftentimes come up when this assessment is done, and the reason that it is critical that we work with a person who has been certified to work with this instrument.

The real gift in knowing our true selves is that we can take all this information a step further to not only really understand ourselves, but to explore the challenges that come with each type and learn how to work around them.  Of course, the critical thing to remember is that there is NO RIGHT OR WRONG TYPE.  They each have their plusses and challenges, and we can learn to appreciate ourselves and the other people who whom we share our lives.

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Vacations

I have just come back from a week’s vacation, and am again reminded of how important it is to recharge our batteries.  For many people like me, who somehow believe on a gut level that the true answer to getting ahead is to work almost constantly, the reminder that it is just as important to refresh the body, mind and soul is critical.  By the time I actually left, I had bronchitis and was feeling very run down.  Not a good place.

It does seem clear from this perspective that the constant push to achieve is NOT really good, but while I am in the middle of it, it is almost impossible to see what is happening.  It somehow feels so normal.

I suspect there are a lot of us out there.  Many of my friends are like me, and I see this coming up in more and more of my clients.  How can they achieve what they want to achieve and actually have time to relax?      It is really possible to do both?

Believe it or not, there is a balance that can be achieved which actually does lead to good results on several levels.  When we take the time to BREATHE, we allow ourselves to take a step back and see just how we are really doing. You might say that, by actually putting on your observer hat, you give the Universe the opportunity to speak to you.  When we are merely plowing ahead at 100 miles per hour, that opportunity does not present itself.  How many times have you experienced a synchronicity that you certainly did not, could not, arrange?  A clear indication that it is not ALL up to you.

Of course, all of this is made easier if you are not doing it alone.  We all need people who can help us be accountable to ourselves, both from the perspective of moving ahead and from the perspective of ascertaining just when we are pushing too hard.  For instance, do we ever take the time to celebrate our accomplishments?  Not too many people do.  For those of us who do not really know when to stop, this support is invaluable!

So, balance does work!  And the longer I am around, the clearer I am just how important it is to “smell the roses”.

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Your Myers Briggs Preferences

As a brief overview of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), let’s take a look at 2 of the 4 type preferences that are explored when this assessment is taken.  Please keep in mind that this is a very BRIEF overview – to really get the full benefit of this wonderful tool, you have to take the assessment yourself.

The first pair of preferences has to do with where you get your energy from – it is usually from the outer world of people, events and activity vs. the inner world of ideas, thoughts and impressions.  Despite what many people think when they hear of the terms extravert and introvert, it has nothing to do with how good someone is with people.   This is not something that is necessarily seen from the outside – especially since society, and perhaps our jobs in particular, require that we interact frequently with others.  It really comes down to how we feel after we have had all this interaction – we either feel exhilarated, or tired – in need of a timeout.

The second pair of preferences is about how you gather information.  People who prefer Sensing gather information mainly through the five senses – they focus on facts and detail, trust concrete experience, seek stability and need to see the parts to understand the whole.  They like to use tried and true methods to solve problems.  On the other hand, people who prefer Intuition focus more on possibilities and hunches.   They tend to be more imaginative and like to approach problems with the thought of how they can be solved in an innovative way.  They generally seek change and need to see the whole to understand the parts.

It is important to approach the use of type from the perspective that there is NO right or wrong – all the preferences are good.  Knowing our type, and the type of those with whom we live and work, helps us really appreciate ourselves and the other people in our lives.  This type of understanding can only make our lives richer.

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